I can hardly believe that one day at the movies has yielded so much fruit for thought, leadership, and relationship. Today, I will conclude the lessons from my day at the movies with relationship lessons from the Fast and Furious Series movie, Hobbs and Shaw.

For those of you, like me, who may never have seen the Fast and Furious Movies, you will need to know that Hobbs and Shaw hate each other. Agent Luke Hobbs  and Criminal Deckard Shaw are teamed up to save the world when the criminal enterprise set to destroy it kidnaps Deckard Shaw’s sister. What ensues is not only a fun action-packed film, but lessons in the good and bad of dealing with conflict. 

 So here are 4 leadership lessons for overcoming conflict between those who work together:

1. Eliminate contempt

When you don’t like someone or have had extended conflict with them, it can be very easy to create a narrative painting them as villains. You see everything they have done wrong, might do wrong, or could just bleed their wrong onto. The problem is that this builds contempt.

Contempt increases conflict.

For a team to begin to make real headway together, you must eliminate contempt. Help the members of your team see each other as human and real not the trumped up version they have in their heads.

Until contempt is removed, you won’t have trust. Without trust you cannot build anything together.

2. A common enemy brings room for healing.

One quick way to begin to create synergy is to offer your team a common enemy. Be careful not to make an enemy of someone you may need later. Instead this enemy should be an abstract problem. 

The unified goal of conquering a common enemy allows team members to see each other as equals, and allows them to learn a small measure of trust.

I have had the opportunity of joining a few leadership teams in my area take retreats at Camp Joy. This organization, set in the beautiful scenery of Southwest Ohio, allows teams to face enemies and problems that are not only fictional, but without real danger. Still as teams work to overcome the obstacles in front of them, they learn how they work together and become more cohesive as they come to know strengths and weaknesses.

Creating a common enemy is not hard, but it does take foresight and planning. Once created the trust begins to grow.

3. A clear compelling vision creates unity.

When Hobbs and Shaw must return to Samoa to fight against a larger, stronger, technically advanced enemies, Hobbs must deal with conflict their as well. However, when a clear understanding of the risk the world faced was given to all the people of the village they bonded together and overcame adversity well beyond what their enemy expected.

Creating a clear and compelling vision takes time. You will need to make sure that you remove as much confusion as possible when you share it. Still, there are few ways to bring people to powerful unity, and none is more effective than a clear compelling vision.

If you or your team are in conflict, create an agreed upon vision that allows you to work towards, and watch culture, strategy, and perseverance grow.

4. Pain and struggle are common to every great adventure.

One reason that teams and organizations divide is that they get tired. Sometimes the entire organization isn’t tired, but one or two influential members. Still, this weariness can make it hard to see the world properly. 

“When things go wrong as they sometimes will, when the life you’re trudging seems all up hill . . . When care is pressing you down a bit, rest if you must but don’t you quit.” (John Greenleaf Whittier)

You can get tired in the fight for great things, because great things take time and work. When you or others get tired far too often you think becomes unclear because your emotions get raw. The slightest wrong can feel like an all out attack, so you lash out in ways that are thoughtless. This response can take many forms depending on your personality and upbringing from passive aggressive to all out attack on those around you.

When you see this happening, step back, get some rest, grab a snickers. Pain and struggle should be expected, but instead of letting the fight divide you, it can bond you together with fire. 

Expect adversity and use it to build unity. Be ready so you can lead your team well.

Above all the relationships with the right people are far more important and lasting than the struggle of the day. So choose relationship today.